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Have You Ever

  Have you ever been abused? Mentally, physically, verbally or even emotionally? It really fucking sucks, right? I know firsthand what it’s like for all four. You see my father inflicted all three upon me. First it was daily verbal abuse. It didn’t bother me after a while. So, no biggy. Next came the mental abuse. That was partially my fault, always trying to please daddy. I guess the emotional abuse came with the mental abuse. Hand in hand they came. When I got older, he started to physically abuse me. It wasn’t often but it was often enough. No matter the amount of abuse I suffered through, I went with it for 17 years. Always wanting to please my father. A father who was never there. A father that only recognized me when he wanted me to do something for him, or if I had “done something wrong”.  I still want to please him, but now I am strong enough to know when I’m being used. Never again will I be used like that. My life to live. My time to love. My time to be free.
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Alone

                                                                            Alone. A sea of faces surrounds you, and yet you’re alone. Blue eyes, brown eyes, green eyes and colors in between. Long noses, short noses, flat noses, and wide noses. Smiling lips, frowning lips, red lips, pink lips. Still alone. Laughing people, yelling people, crying people and sad people. No one is the same in the sea of faces.  No one sees you. You don’t see them. You just keep walking, hoping no one notices you. You see the faces but that’s all you see. In your reality, it doesn’t matter who you are. You could be just another pretty face, because the dark doesn’t care who you are. The dark will swallow you whole, and not spit you out. Once you are in the dark, it takes a miracle to bring you out of it. A miracle t...
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Red Tinted Mirror

  A reflection. Ghostly eyes and bluish lips that are stained with red. That’s what my reflection looks like. Dead. Am I dead? Did I finally pull the plug? Is that why I feel so numb? I can’t move, all I can look at is the red tinted mirror. I can’t turn around and try to see what I’ve left behind, but I sure as hell can look through that mirror, past my reflection. Past my reflection, I can hear the steady solid beep, my heart went flat I assume. Duh. Jennie is yelling at the nurses to turn that annoying thing off. Thanks Jennie, it was annoying me too. Okay, now it’s time to search around. Where’s dear old dad? He may not know I’m gone… Eh he wouldn’t care anyways. Hold on, how did I die anyway? Did I actually slit my wrists, or did I just go ahead and let myself drown? Oh! There's my chart, that should tell me what I need to know… Hmmm, it says here: Name: Katie L. Miller Age: 18 Height: 5,3” Weight: 115lbs Diagnostics: Cystic Fibrosis, Cystic Fibrosis Related Diabetes (CFRD), D...
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